I’ll clean this up in a minute

Well kids, as my beautiful colleague teenageangst pointed out, since we’re both currently unemployed, we have absolutely no reason not to be filling your goody baskets with wickedly pre-Halloween sweets from the cosmic candy store. Just be careful of those cherry cordial ones… there’s a reason they’re the last ones in the box!

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Aries: The Magician

I mean really, what do you want me to say? You have all the tools, you’re lighting the way, you’re burning the candle at both ends though. Lucky thing you have that cup to catch the falling wax. I wouldn’t be so sure that cup’s always gonna be there. I know, I know, you’re always right. Just… sometimes right needs to be tempered with wise.

Taurus: Eight of Wands (Inverted)

Now, see usually the wands are supposed to represent arrows of love. But to be honest, at the moment you’re world’s a little upside down. It’s not that your heart’s not in the right place; I mean, the landscape is by no means barren, but everything’s a bit on an up slant right now. Slow down a little. You’ve got lots of options coming your way, and nothing but time.

Gemini: Queen of Swords

Oh Gemini, sitting on your chair of righteousness, slicing people with your sword of justice, ruling over the… empty sky. Seriously, you’ve got A bird, singular, and storm clouds brewing in the distance. I know you know it’s there, it’s in your peripheral vision. Maybe it’s time to stop fighting and address the things we all know are there.

Cancer: Page of Wands

I like to think of the Page of Wands as the “All dressed up and nowhere to go” card. Usually I harp on how he’s all gussied but he’s standing in a barren wasteland. But today, I realized that perhaps he’s only standing there dressed up b/c he’s prepared for the future. He’s noticed the little sprouts beginning to bud in the wilderness and her has hope. Way to be the optimist!

Leo: Eight of Cups (Inverted)

I want to tell you that I have amazing, insightful things to say about your card, but it’s not true. I can’t really justify this, but it’s kind of like a homecoming for you this week Leo. You have these treasures, and what you’re really missing? That grail you keep questing for? It’s you. You’re missing your own self worth. So go hang up your boots and enjoy yourself watching the full moon reflect on the water.

Virgo: Nine of Cups (Inverted)

I just have to fucking laugh at this Virgo. And so should you. Because it’s the truth, pure and simple. Content with yourself, you were sitting there being happy, and BAM your world turns upside-down. (hey it’s a theme for the earth elements!) Bet you wish you hadn’t bough that stupid hat now huh? You could probably use that money for something else! Okay, okay, so I’m being a tad melodramatic. In reality, How can you be sure you wanted what was in those cups? Think of this as a vessel cleaning, and a good lesson about taking things for granted.

Libra: The Hermit

You know, I’ve never pulled this card before, and I’m fascinated. But you’re not. In fact, you look a little sleepy. You have this seriously cool looking star that’s lighting your way, giving off light and making everything clear… and you’re taking a nap. In fact, you seem a little stuck there Libs. Wake up! It’s your turn! At some point this month, the daily horoscope in the AM New York is going to be specifically tailored to you!!! So wake up and smell the stardust, you’ve got bigger things coming to you than standing still and sleeping on the watch.

Scorpio: Justice

When I was thinking about this, my initial reaction was that this card doesn’t strike me as very Scorpio-esque. It’s all balances and straight lines. But the more I looked, I noticed how the flowing robes were kind of blending Justice right into his own background. So I’m going to go ahead and suggest some light yoga, a little moving around, and general stretches for the group. Come on Scorps! You’re not the solid kind of type. It’s time to get back in touch with your watery element. Flow a little more. You’ll feel much better.

I know I know, but my brain is fried. Here are your cards. I’ll amend them in the morning:

Sagittarius: Knight of Wands

Capricorn: Eight of Swords

Aquarius: The Hanged Man (Inverted)

Pisces: Ace of Pentacles.

Okay, Okay…

After a careful, funky-new-Facebook perusing, coupled with a throat clearing and a cosmic poke, it has come to my attention that I do, in fact, know a few Capricorns. They are not invisible. They do exist. I was wrong. Drink your damn hot chocolate.

Something or Something Else…

You know, I usually throw in the dates these are good for, but it’s not like I’ve been really consistant, so I’m not gonna do it this time. Happy Friday the 13th. It’s rockin, I know it. And Save Ferris is stuck in my head. Enjoy.

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Aries (Eight of Swords): Oh Aries what have you done? You’re walking away from the high ground into the swamp, with no real defenses and no way to see. And yet you’re not sad. Maybe you understand that this is just the way it is. Maybe that town wouldn’t have done you any good anyway. And this is just another step down the road.

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Taurus (Ten of Cups): Well, to pretend I’m not a little biased about this card would be a lie, but at the same time, it’s not like you should be surprised. Everything’s coming up roses! There’s a beautiful rainbow, grass to frolic in, and the things that you’ve been storing the goodness in are coming full circle. So what if the stream was a little muddy up the way? It’s clearing now, and blue by the time it gets to you. So go enjoy the sunlight. You deserve it.

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Gemini (The Fool): I mean really Gems, in a lot of ways I think ya’ll don’t need this explained to you. You’re all pretty and dressed up, and you’re about to walk off a fucking cliff. But what just occurred to me is that if you would take a second and LOOK at the pretty flower in your hand instead of just being a prat and knowing it’s there, you might notice the cliff. Head towards the flower. It knows what it’s talking about.

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Cancer (Queen of Pentacles): Goats are notorious for eating whatever they feel like. Strong stomach or lack of self-control? You know what I’m talking about. Meanwhile, you’re so fixated on this one precious thing you have, there are some who might suggest it’s starting to take its toll. I mean, things aren’t exactly flourishing and laying themselves out at your feet. Yes there are still signs of life, but while you were busy with the shiny, what have you been neglecting?

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Leo (Seven of Cups): Oh the choices! Treasure, accolades, youth, safety, mystery, snakes, demons! … Oh, might wanna stay away from those last two. Thing is, that’s totally where your hand is pointed at the moment. There’s so much good to be had, are you really going to pick the bum cups here? I mean, I’m sure you know what you’re doing; you DID make it all the way to the final rose ceremony. Just… take a second to see if you’re reaching out to push those bad things away, or if you’re really bringing them closer.

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Virgo (Four of Cups): Like the Geminis, you too should really not be surprised by this card. Nor should it need too much divining. You’re being a stubborn bastard about three cups that MIGHT be worth it, if you would pick one, or stand up and walk to them, which you cant. Meanwhile a fucking present is being cosmically dropped in your lap. And you KNOW it’s gonna be good, because the universe even had the presence of mind to place it somewhere that won’t require you exerting too much effort to get to it. So get on that shit! Go on, MOVE!

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Libra (Two of Swords): This card kinda reminds me of our traditionally blindfolded justice. But in reality, you have enough scales in your life already. So this card should appeal to you. Why, you ask? Well for one, it’s almost perfectly balanced. Symmetry appeals to your life of constant readjustments. Think of yourself like a ninja this week. You are still, but full of energy, well-armed and ready to go. Enjoy the suspense.

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Scorpio (Six of Cups): Hey remember when we had those cups with the pretty flowers? Yeah, that was fun. Spring is coming, which mean more of the same pretty flowers. But the reality is that we can’t bask in the memories forever. So enjoy the beauty and the happiness these things brought you, and then pass them on to he next person. They have their own things to learn. No you’re not walking away from them completely, it’s just time to grow up a little. Even the flowers know that.

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Sagittarius (Strength): So I think the question here is really, are you prying the lion’s mouth open, or pressing it closed? I mean, he seems pretty submissive at the moment, but I’m relatively sure that if you make him bite his own tongue, he’s not going to be too happy. I know, I know, he’s cute and swirly-maned. I’m just SAYING.

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Capricorn (Two of Pentacles): You know, occasionally it bothers me that I don’t really know any Capricorns. It might have something to do with the fact that we’re a great astrological match, but beyond that, I mean really. Wtf? Maybe you don’t exist at all. But for not existing, you seem to be a little stuck between two interconnected things here. Actually, I’m giving a pretty standard read on this, and since I pulled an extra card, I think we’ll go a little deeper.

(Judgment) Okay, so really, what this oils down to is that it doesn’t matter which on you chose. The result is the same. It’s going to be a glorious waking of the dead… or maybe you don’t like the dead. They’re dead for a reason. Which is why you can’t decided what to do. Well I certainly can’t decide for you. And neither can anyone else really. Maybe that’s why no one knows you exist right now. How about if you just drop whatever it is that’s bemusing you and come back to the world. Maybe you’d get a party. Who knows? It’s worth a shot.

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Aquarius (Four of Swords- Inverted): Thinking, breathing, sleeping, mediating. What are “Things You’re Not Doing Enough Of”? Stained glass distraction for a thousand… Well, there’s a lot of noise going on outside. Flashy lights, pretty songs, screaming sirens… or harpies. But it’s time to say enough is enough! Take a long holiday and lay flat on your back so you can get back on your feet. It’s time to take care of yourself Aquarius. The rest of the world will cope.

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Pisces (Justice): This week, in an apparent identity crisis, Pisces has decided to try to be a Libra. And it’s kinda like you’re doing it right. You have the pretty sword, the scales are perfectly balanced, and you even found a spiffy crown and new robe. But let’s be honest, this really isn’t your nature and it shows. You like things to be a little more fluid, and not just in a scale weighting up and down. Shrug off the officious cloths and come back to the ocean. Sure it can be a little brutal, but it’s you’re home. You looked a little too stiff up there on the stone chair of justice anyway.

I’ve been awake for a while now… (3-28-4/3)

Ponies in the sun… the race is just beginning. My father bet the family fortune on a sleek brown horse… but really you’re not here for William Finn. you’re here beacuse somethign in your brain made you click this link. Or you’ve realized that my sprinkles are like the crack you buy from that homeless lady on the corner. Possibly made up, but damn addicting.

Anyhow, the cards are back from their vacay, and we’re off to the races to see what the odds for this weeks cosmic track meet are booking in at. Grab you ticket stubs and away we go!

Aries (The Empress)

Right now it’s all about you and the lady love. Wether that means getting it on or pampering yourself, it really can’t be anything but good. It is, after all, the Ariean time to shine. You’ve got your best blouse, and awesome crown, and an abundance of female energy surroundign you. And to top it all off, the seeds you’ve sown are beginning to come to fruition. All your base are belong to us! Which is to say, you’re ruling! Enjoy your moments in the lap of luxury!

Taurus (Ace of Wands)

Dear Taurus,

It is your universe given right to be the enforcer of whatever it is you’ve decided you want. Also, the sex will be great.

Love,

The Ace of Wands

So yes the cosmos gave you a big stick. Now if you were an Aries, I’d expect you to wallop someone with it, but I think your have better sense than that. Walking softly and all that. Also, it occurred to me, that wands are all about sex. So this could be the payoff for putting up with those clouds that have been hovering around for FAR too long. You’re about to have a seemingly perfect thing dropped into your lap. And you deserve it. It may seem to come out of nowhere, but although it’s not where or when you thought it was going to happen, the scene is ripe to take advantage of it.

Gemini (Page of Wands)

If I know you at all Gem, and I tend to think I do (at least a little), this card really came as no surprise to you. Maybe you even laughed. All dressed up and no place to go? JESUS! You didn’t need a freaking tarot card to tell you that. But for the first time, it occurred to me why you’re standing still. You’re actually entranced by the few things growing in the barren wasteland. Well, I’m here to tell yo that officially it’s not worth it. get off your ass and MOVE! There’s nothing to see here folks, keep moving. You can take the staff. The few ties you have to this place have nothing to do with the place themselves. You could be doing it better.

Cancer (King of Wands, Inverted)

Right, so on the one hand, this is really good. You’re all over the sexual map in the best possible way, because you’re the king. And it’s good to be the king. You have the strength and the regenerative qualites will allow you to make the most of your situation… at least you would if this were right side up. As it is though, it’s more like you WISH you had those things. There is the potential to parlay whatever is happening in your life now into something stable and fruitful. You’re just not there yet. Things are a little helter-skelter. Fire’s burning a little too hot, and it coudl singe the edges of an otherwise good and vaulable thing. Maybe it’s time to bring things back in line. Respect mah authoritah!

Leo (The Hierophant)

What can I say? Clearly you’ve done something right! You are in control, and people are bowing to your infinite wisdom. Or at least getting out of your way. Your agenda is THE agenda, so take advantage of it. Just… don’t get too carried away in the pomp and circustance. Posing for publicity pictures is fun, but more importantly, you have the keys to the city at your feet. And you’re gonna need them. So you might wanna take a minute to look around and take stock of your resources. Don’t worry. Your public’s not going anywhere.

Virgo (Five of Swords)

Oh you think you’re SO clever, gathering all those swords. Good job. People threw down their arms and walked away. But now maybe I think that smile’s not so much that as that you’re happy with the way things are going. You’ve gt some distance on a situation that was driving you nuts, and now you’re okay with it. So you’ve lost a few people along the way… it happens. But the clouds rolling in might bring rain and change, and quite honestly, you’re more than a little excited for that. You’ll fight if you have to, but really, you’re just ready for a change of pace.

Libra (The Devil)

Dear God Libs! What did you DO!?!?!? Whatever it is you’re all obsessing over, you seriously need to let it go. It’s clouding up your aura and holding your potential prisoner. So much good could be comign your way. you have the opportunity to grow things to fruition. But you’re going to have to cut some ties first. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the things you feel are holding you down.

Scorpio (Nine of Cups, Inverted)

Wow… this inversion might actually work in your favor. See, you’ve clearly gt a lot of nice things store up, but the inversion means you’re not quite as smug and self satisfied as the jerk on this card. I’d keep it that way. There’s this danger of being THAT girl/guy that who gets all crazy and OCD about their shit becaus they think they finally got it organized. I mean, don’t NOT do some spring cleaning… just you know, continue to be a decent excuse for a human being in the meantime.

Saggitarius (Judgement)

Blow, Gabriel, blow! Aaaaaaand preach it! Glory halleluiah, things are going your way. The cosmos have passed their decree, and it seems you have the universal go-ahead for your latest project. Past present and future generations are there to bask in your success and offer their support. Not that all of it will be easy mind you. Those snowy mountains in the distance are a formidable challenge. But you can take them. Especially with the kind of supprt you’re getting right now.

 

Capricorn (Five of Cups)

Oh man, I feel for you Caps, I really do. I know you had a lot invested in that, and it TOTALLY just bombed. So I’ma let you take a minute to mourn the loss. And you should. But when that moment is over, remember that you haven’t lost it all. And that if you DO need more of a break, you can always take your cups and go home. I know that river seems too wide to cross, but there’s a bridge just up the way, and really, a respite might not be such a bad thing right now.

 

Aquarius (Knight of Pentacles)

 “There is work to be done, to be done. Theres a war to be won, to be won. Come you son of a son of a gun! Take your stand!” And do the job you were given. You have something really important right now. Its been entrusted to you. And, although you wouldn’t know it from the way you’re sitting there staring at it, it actually benefits people other than you. So stop staring dumbly at the shiney and put those spurs to good use. you’re not going to lose it. You just need to get a move on. There’s a lot to be done, and no one’s going to do it for you. GO!

Pisces (Three of Pentacles)

I mean, really? What can I say? Good job Pisce! Way to follow through. You made a plan and you executed it flawlessly. Note the cup in your right hand. That means you achieved something. And on top of it all, other people noticed. And were impressed. Even that realy nitpicky person that you sometimes want to punch in the face b/c they are making an ass out of themselves. But the moral of the story is, you’ve created something vaulable, masterful, and lasting. So sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Ya did good! Just… don’t fall off that bench admiring your own handywork.

 

 

Yeah, about that…

Tarot Fatigue. Taking a slight break. Make your own sprinkles for a bit. I’ll let you know when they’re back.

It’s more like a can of frosting, really. 2/27-3/5

So I’ve started this Commit to Sit program, and I have to admit, I’m becoming more aware of things. Hopefully that clarity will pan out for all ya’ll and I’ll manage to get it right. In any case, one of the precepts is about being mindful of speech and another is no killing, so I’ll do my best not to be overly harsh or drop a cosmic rock on anyone’s toes. I know, I know. My sarcasm is why you read this, but still. It’s only 28 days. I’m sure you can handle it. I have faith in you.

My sincerest apologies to those Scorpio among you. I completely skipped over you last week! And, worse yet, didn’t notice until this week. My friend informs me this means you will be eating my heart now, and Ii admit you have a right to. Personally though, since you narrowly missed a Nine of Swords, I think maybe you should just sit back and enjoy the cosmic doom of all those poor suckers who had to deal with your cards. Sweet!

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Aries: Queen of Pentacles

You are very proud of who you know yourself to be, Aries, and it shows. It’s the rock on which you sit and base your life. But lately, something you treasure has gone from useful to obsession. If you were to look up from that shiny orb, you might notice that nothing around you is growing anymore. Don’t neglect the things around you that bring you sustenance and show you beauty for the sake of a single thing. Not only are you missing out, but you’re KILLING it smalls!

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Taurus: Eight of Pentacles

You know, it seems like almost every week, someone gets this card. I swear I’m choosing at random, but still. In your own very bull-headed way, you’ve been working away, honing your craft and gathering skills and items of worth. Good job! And here’s the even better news… you’re almost done. Soon you can shed that apron and head into town for a pint with the boys. So finish strong and then enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it!

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Gemini: The Devil (Inverted)
You’re feeling a little trapped right now, but things could be worse. There’s some turmoil in your life, but in reality, you’re kind of blowing it out of proportion. Nothing’s on fire yet, and you could slip that chain off over your head if you really wanted. Don’t get me wrong, there is the distinct possibility of darkness, confusion and chaos… that devil IS awake, but for the moment he’s just hanging out watching. Choose your steps wisely.

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Cancer: Five of Cups

Now is a time of change, and to be honest with you, it might not have come in the way you had hoped. Things that you put a lot of time and energy into haven’t quite panned out the way you expected, and you’re kind of thrown by that. The thing is, although things look bleak, you haven’t actually lost it all. But you’re so focused on the change and the flow of the things in front of you, that you’ve not stopped to look around and take stock. If you do, you might just find that you could always pick up he pieces and head towards that town, where comfort and rest await.

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Leo: The Hierophant (Inverted)

I dunno Leo, maybe you should ACTUALLY give something up for Lent. Clearly, there’s not enough Pope in your life and you need to get back to those volatile, emotionally scarring days of your youth, otherwise known as Catholic school. But seriously, this interesting thing here is that the thing about this card that really pops when inverted is its arcs and its symmetry. For all that things are a little upside down in your world right now, you’re doing a good job of keeping it all balanced.

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Virgo: The Emperor

Oh old man Virgo, set in your ways, enjoying you solitude. That steely exterior of cool can’t protect you forever. But you are king, so you’re doing something right. I’m not so sure this austerity and lack of pomp and circumstance is such a bad thing for you right now. Just don’t make it a life habit. That river looks to dry up somewhere in the future, and I wouldn’t want you to find yourself suddenly alone and stranded.

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Libra: Four of Swords (Inverted)

I used to think this was a bad card, kind of about death, but really, I think it’s more about meditation. It seems you could do with a little time away from the hustle and bustle to focus on you, and you’re definitely not taking it. It’s not that you need to shut yourself away from the world; that would be overkill. Still. With all the noise and glamour in your life this week, don’t forget to take a moment and breathe. It may help you to lay old wounds and new alike to rest.

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Scorpio: Eight of Swords

Okay so that thing I said at the beginning about how some other poor sucker must have gotten a card meant for you? Well apparently you can’t outrun your fate. The swords that were hovering last week seem to be all around you now, and you’re staggering through them blindly. To your credit, you haven’t hurt yourself yet, but there’s a definite feeling of peril as you get farther and farther from the things you used to know and the walls that kept you safe. It’s just a thought, but I’d work on that blindfold if I were you.

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Sagittarius: King of Pentacles

So in a lot of ways, what’s happening to you is what’s happening to Aries. The difference is, you clearly picked a better focus, because things in your area are flourishing. That being said, not all growth is good growth. Everyone needs to prune back the branches occasionally to make sure the plants can flourish. Don’t get so cock-sure in your abilities that you become your own downfall. Maybe looking away from the shiny, reflect-y surface would help…?

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Capricorn: Five of Wands

 

You’re really doing a lot right now Caps. I’m gonna hazzard a guess and go for this inversion being more about excess than a lack of activity. In fact, I’d go ahead and say things are more than a little chaotic in your world right now. Whatever it was you were working on building is currently in squalor. Maybe it’s time to lay down arms and admit that it might not have been such a good idea.

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Aquarius: King of Swords (Inverted)

So last week I was all about this card and how it’s kind of about having a strong backing and a solid plan that not only goes along with your better nature but allows you to have a divining nature and wisdom in your surroundings while remaining open to the flow of things around you. Well that is NOT happening for you right now Aqu. It might not be such a bad idea to re-examine where you stand and what it is you think you know. You’d be much better off if you could manage to flip this card right side up.

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Pisces: Four of Pentacles

Now see you, unlike some of your cosmic counterparts, have opted not only to have a few things you prize, but to make it painfully obvious what those are. In some ways, you’re even worse off than Aries. You’ve actually managed to alienate an entire town and group of sentient life. Look. Nothing is growing around you. There is nothing but gray, cold, hard rock. And yet all you can see is that you must hold on tighter and tights. There’s a saying somewhere about holding onto things too tightly, and how those are the things you lose. But then again, since you’ve already lost everything else, maybe you’re just holding on for dear life.

I made you this card… kind of…

My grandmother used to say you had to shuffle a deck 3 times to change the cards, but I’ve always felt that there must be some point when you’ve divided and shuffled a deck so much that the cards end up back in the same order. That being said, I shuffled 4 times, pulled 12 cards, shuffled them once and put the stack aside. Then shuffled the remaining cards 3 times, pulled 12, shuffled those twice, and put them aside. Then shuffled the remaining cards 2 times, pulled 12, shuffled those 3 times, and put them next to the other two stacks. Then I split the middle pile into two, and shuffed those 36 cards until the cards didn’t have those rough spots you occasionally run into when a bunch don’t want to separate. (Brownie points if you know my sign by now… but not too many, because I feel it’s fairly obvious.) All that being said, here’s the weekly forecast.

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Aries: King of Swords

In some ways I think this card is a little redundant. The King of Swords sits with his back against a pilar. The important thing here is that the pillars don’t encase him, they just support him. And as we all know you thrive on the impenatable fortress of “never wrong,” sticking to what you know seems to be serving you well. You do look a little distracted by your sword there. Are you contemplating how to use your powers (for good or for awesome? Don’t worry, they both benefit you) or are you just scoping out your pretty face?

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Taurus: Ten of Wands

You’re holding it all together Taur, but I gotta say, it doesn’t exactly look like you’re having fun. In fact, it’s more of a “I’m taking my sticks and going home” tantrum. AND it’s blinding you to the beauty of the rest of life. I mean, whatever works for you; it’s not like anything’s coming to trip you up, it’s just that you could be having more fun.

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Gemini: Page of Cups

The Page of Cups is a silly fellow, he’s all about youth, indiscretion, and fluidity. So ease up a little. You’ve been taking things far too seriously. And the thing is, it’s not like being a little goofy and immature would be a bad thing. In fact, it looks like you could grow and benefit from it. So go ahead. Buy a fantastic hat, go out on the town, and drink a pint for me.

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Cancer: Strength Inverted

You know how things have been a little crazy recently? Well it’s about time you got back to your roots! Remember when you were all up in the mightiness of the major arcana?I feel like it might not be such a bad time to head back in that direction. Looks like you could finally get control of something that has been plaguing you for a while if you’ll just commit. And, even better, you might be able to use the things you learn while in the lions den later in life. In any case, way to keep your cool.

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Leo: Temperance (Inverted)

Blah blah blah disclaimer about inverted cards. But really, why bother? It’s not like you’ve been listening. You could used some self-control in a BIG way! I know it’s gonna seem like you’re just treading water, but honestly, that might not be such a bad thing. Don’t be that girl who goes ape-shit, because you’re supposed to be the king! And no one respects that crazed look in your eyes. It’s not fear. It’s pity. You should really know better. So step it up and get your shit together yo!

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Virgo: Page of Wands

Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it? I’m pretty sure you were laughing at whoever got this card like, 3 weeks ago, thinking it could never happen to you. Jerk. What happened to your resolve to take a little “me” time? I know you like lavishing it on others, but it’s just not going to happen. You’re in a freaking desert! Get over yourself and start walking. You’ll get much more accomplished.

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Libra: Six of Cups

So things that you’ve invested time and energy in are coming to fruition. And unlike some other cup cards, there are no bad things in the cups. Only life and beauty. Which is a welcome change after being the cosmic bitch for a while. But then again, as my friend pointed out, this is also a kind of nostalgic card. So don’t get all comfortable and rest on your laurels. Not everyone will be impressed by the abundance; and really, it’s just a stop along the road anyway.

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Sagittarius: Nine of Swords

Man Sag! This is just NOT your week! Bad dreams maybe? A little frightened of what dreams may come? I don’t blame you. Hell in that movie is no place I’D like to be! Anyway. It may not be a fully formed thought yet, since you still can’t see the tip of the swords surrounding you, but you do know what direction their pointing, so maybe if you’d uncover your eyes you could avoid whatever’s threatening to plague you. Then again, you could also go back to bed and the whole thing might just pass you by. I promise not to tell if you just hide under the covers this round. Just don’t think it’s a permanent solution.

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Capricorn: Two of Pentacles

I mean, really what it comes down to for you is that you’re making things slightly harder than they need to be. There’s no point in trying to impress us while you weight your options. No one really cares that you can stand on one foot while you juggle. Also, we can all see that your options are interconnected… and kind of similar. Maybe the one you’re leaning towards now seems like the better of the two, but just so you know, they both offer interesting prospects. So stop the circus act and decide already. Really, you can’t go wrong either way.

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Aquarius: Wheel of Fortune (Inverted)

Generally I’d flip this and read it like everything else, but there’s something interesting about this card upside down. See, when it’s inverted, suddenly the devil and the snake are on top, and the signs that are supposed to be taking care of youand paying attention are actually more absorbed in other things. But as I’ve said before, the nice, and the terrible, thing about wheels is that they keep turning. So buck up Aquarius! I know it looks rough now, but it’s nice to know that the world will right itself eventually.

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Pisces: Ten of Swords (Augmented with the King of Pentacles)

So, I have felt a little bad for you recently Pisces, and honestly, I’m not in the mood to A) be the bearer of bad news, and B) try to re-interpret the Ten of Swords again, because honestly, it’s come up like, 3 weeks running. So instead, I looked for a little clarification about why all this has been happening to you, and here’s what I got:

Based on the Ten of Swords, you clearly effed up. You weren’t paying attention to something, and you got stabbed in the back. Something that you should have been guarding closely went awry and backfired. Why, you ask? This is where the King of Pentacles comes in. See, he’s hanging out in his throne, with his pentacle, looking at it and generally being pleased with himself. Thing is, he’s been doing it for so long, he’s actually starting to grow into his surrounding. The flora and fauna are overtaking him, until eventually he’ll be trapped, unable to move. And that’s exactly what happened to you. Your tunnel vision and complete and honest conviction that you had it all in hand trumped you, and you’ve ended up where you are now. The best you can really hope to do is learn from it and move on. Good luck with that.